The UPSC Masterstroke

There’s a reason that this blog’s name is so. What other name would you give to a person who suddenly decides to give the country’s most difficult exam just because the authorities increased the no. of attempts to six, knowing fully well that the full day wasted could've easily been utilised by sleeping, eating, watching the next tv series on the list, or even, brace yourselves, by studying something worthwhile? 

I am talking about the UPSC (Union Public Servie Commission)’s Civil Services examination (popularly known as IAS ka paper), which was held all over India on Sunday, 24^th August.

I was one of those people who had actually no idea what the paper was about, and with no remote intentions of being a civil servant ever (kyunki aukat hi nahi hai*), but had turned up just to gain some ‘experience’. I had heard a lot about the CSAT (questions on quantitative aptitude, reasoning, comprehension etc.) fiasco and how the portion of English comprehension had been made optional due to the protests. Also since I have given CAT and other MBA entrances and have scored decent percentiles, I hoped that I could at least do that portion well. Here’s the analysis of the paper:-

PAPER 1:

This was the General Studies Paper-I and had questions from every subject ever taught in school. As I hadn't even opened any book for this, I was expecting to be blown away by the questions and had hoped that I would at least recognise one or two questions. But the paper was the work of a genius. One look at the questions, and you would have several cringe-inducing moments like, “Abe yaar ye to bachpan me padha tha/ Abe yaar ye waala to aana chahiye tha mujhe/ Abe yaar ye to news me suna tha kuch din pehle/ Abe yaar kaash atlas aur world map dekh liya hota ek baar etc.*”. And yet the answers would not strike.

Another reason was that most of them were questions with multiple answers disguised as Single choice questions. Therefore, even if you knew one answer, you’d still struggle to get the whole question right. Crime-Master Gogo from Andaz Apna Apna would’ve happily commented, “Hath ko aaya, aur mu na laga*”. I also realised that UPSC is like a brilliant PR manager; luring the candidates into believing that with adequate amount of preparation, the papers are easily solvable. This then starts the year after year slog and thorough preparation, the result of which for most comes out to be a jar full of nothingness.

PAPER 2:

This was the main reason for me to fill the form this year. I was told that the General Studies Paper – II or the CSAT (Civil Services Aptitude Test) is of a level easier than other MBA entrance examinations. So I was fairly confident of scoring decently in this section. But what followed was an absolute disaster. The overall paper was so easy that it would've made no difference whether an average student prepared or not. In fact, the level of the questions was much lower than the supposedly lower level examinations such as PCS, SSC or the Bank PO examinations. Ok, now before labelling me as an obnoxious snob, who’s trying to show off his mathematical and reasoning skills, sample this word by word question from the paper.

Q 51. Consider that:

1.       A is taller than B

2.       C is taller than A

3.       D is taller than C

4.       E is the tallest of all.

If they are made to sit in the above order of their height, who will occupy the mid position?

(a)    A                     (b) B                      (c) C                       (d) D

The level of difficulty of this reasoning question is equivalent to the following questions from various subjects: -

BIOLOGY:

Where is the Cerebrum located?

(a)    Heart                     (b) Lungs             (c) Kidney            (d) Brain

CHEMISTRY:

The atomic number of Hydrogen is:-

(a)    0                              (b) 1                       (c) 2                       (d) 2.5

MATHEMATICS:

If 5 pencils are sold for Rs. 3 each, and 3 pens are sold for Rs. 5 each, what is the total amount received? (A similar question was asked in the paper as well)

(a)    Rs. 30                    (b) Rs. 50             (c) Rs. 70              (d) Rs. 90

GEOGRAPHY:

What is the capital of USA?

(a)    New York            (b) Washington DC          (c) Jerusalem (unintentional)     (d) Islamabad

HISTORY/CIVICS:

 Who was the first Mughal emperor? / Who was the first president of India?

(Should I even bother with the options?)

COMMERCE:

The basic accounting rule says, _________ what comes in,  _________ what goes out**.

(a)    Debit/Credit       (b) Credit/Debit         (c) Import/Export            (d) Raghu/Rajiv

Now, unless you’re the guy who once said on an All India Radio quiz that the Taj Mahal is situated in Ajmer (true story, but more on that later), you can pretty much answer these questions on your own. Even if you don’t know some of them, you can be confident about these if you prepare for even a month. If still not, you should realise that this examination is not suitable for you, instead of demanding scrapping off the section itself. Some people would argue that not all questions were like this and some Comprehensions were tough as well. But this is where the UPSC plays its masterstroke. It keeps the individual CSAT cutoff to 30-40 (Again, no research of mine, this comes straight from the mouth of those people who gave their 3^rd/4^th attempt, so don’t reprimand me if it's a bit wayward). Each question is of 2.5 marks so even if one can attempt 16 questions of this level correctly (there were at least 30), one can score 40 marks and clear this section. As far as the general studies section is concerned, the cutoff still ranges between 70 and 80. So the Paper II becomes redundant as far as clearing the preliminary round is concerned, as it is just a formality which enables you to get to the overall cutoff; which means that the things remain pretty much the same as they were earlier. That do your General Studies portion well. There's no respite/hindrance. Also, as far as the English comprehension cancellation was concerned, only 6 questions were removed.

                Well played UPSC. Well played indeed.

PS: Done with the Namaste/Jai Hind crap. I used to get irritated during re-reads; I can very well imagine the plight of the readers.

*My international and regional readers, kindly go to your nearest translators. I’m still recovering from the shock of the paper.

**I always used to think that (b) was the correct answer until a friend of mine told me that there’s a difference between a bank’s book, and a customer’s book. I immediately thanked my stars for not taking commerce and was given a further proof of my inability to clear this horrifying paper.